I feel like I say this every year but wow what a year. I know understand the song lyric “no one likes you when you’re 23.” I used that caption on my birthday IG last year but little did I know how much more I would go through, overcome and evolve in just 12 months.
I think as we are entering a new phase of the world post pandemic we are all reflecting positively on 2020 and 2021 and all that it has taught us. I definitely am.
This year I turn 24 and I’m entering my mid 20s – WILD. My mom and abuela would always say its all downhill after 21 so be careful what you wish for but I didn’t believe them – now I totally get it. The last 3 years since I turned 20 have been a rollercoaster. Whenever I thought I finally have made it through a lesson, challenge or rough patch, another one came long. I am really grateful for it though, looking back, which is only fitting that my birthday is around thanksgiving time.
Before I share what I’m looking froward to in the next year, I want to take a moment to reflect and acknowledge how far I’ve come and all that I have overcome. It’s not something we do often, but I highly recommend we do every couple months. In just a few years I have accomplished so much and I want to celebrate that, as a birthday is the celebration of another trip around the sun and all that came with that journey.
I started law school at 21 and I’m graduating in about 5 months at 24 and the last 3 years have been the most difficult but rewarding years of my life. I entered law school wide eyed and hopeful, excited to see where my career would take me. I wanted to leave Florida and really discover who I am.
Midway through my first year my battle with anxiety and depression got the best of me and then the pandemic struck. These were both blessings in disguise. The time away from school and the outside world really gave me the space to heal and work through my trauma and pain. I realized that the reason I struggled so much in high school and college was because I truly wasn’t myself. I lost her, I got lost in the shuffle and I wanted so badly to fit in and belong that I did whatever the people who showed me a little interest thought was cool. I bounced from friend group to friend group, never truly making any friends of my own and by the time I left for college I was so disillusioned I completely withdrew and was going through the motions.
It wasn’t until 2020 that the fog lifted. Being pushed gently by my classmate to get help changed my life. I had a new lease on life, and I wanted to get that curly haired, happy little girl back. I may never get those curls again – thanks keratin and flat irons – but I stopped pretending to be whoever the people around me were and decided to be myself. Even if that made me unpopular, even if that meant I was overly emotional and opinionated and liked pop culture and social media and fashion and traveling.
Because I was able to really learn who I was and loved, I was able to realize that traditional law isn’t where I see myself in 5-10 years, let alone 2-3 when I graduate. I decided to really embrace my passion for connecting with people and sharing my favorite things, something I always liked but was too afraid to do, and pursue social media as a side hustle.
By the time my second year of law school came around and my 23rd birthday was approaching, I knew Miami was meant to be where I live and that a career in social media was calling my name. I decided to put myself first and shed the baggage and toxic, negative energy around me and be unapologetically myself. I grew into my own. 23 was so damn hard. I really had to get comfortable with being alone and being lonely for the first time in my life. I didn’t have a dance studio, sorority or fraternity house to escape to and I was living alone in a city I didn’t love.
My academic career was flailing because I’m the type of person who if I don’t like something or am not passionate about it, I am indifferent. By the spring before final year of law school I was desperate to move home and begin my life, the life I had begun to create for myself in Miami at the end of 2020. The life I continued to create for myself the summer of 2021. The spring semester was so hard on me physically and emotionally that by summer I was grasping at any semblance of normalcy. Coming home was like finally coming up for air.
All the late nights I couldn’t sleep, staying up crying hoping one day I wouldn’t be in so much pain began to ease. I had an idea for a paper I wanted to write for school, I had mentors in the social media law space I wanted to learn from and I was for the first time ever, happy.
It really showed on my social media, I was having fun, meeting people and going to events and making authentic connections with people who have since become my friends IRL too. I started a job that I didn’t even go searching for, the first sign that this career path was the right fit for me. I came into my own. I discovered my personal style and cleaned out the closet, literally and figuratively. I stopped wanting so badly to be friends with certain people and to be in the know. I embraced who I truly am and what I want in life.
I started making steps, in my academic career, in my personal relationships, in my mind to prepare me for the future I wanted for myself. Now I’m here, saying goodbye to the year that hurt me more than any other yet gave me more than I could have ever imagined.
The lessons about friendship, love and growth I have experienced this year couldn’t have come at a better time. I am stronger and more sure of myself than I’ve ever been. I have the tools in my toolbox that will provide the roadmap to be successful in anything I set out to do.
I leaned into my anxiety and emotions and created a business I am so proud of, that allows me to express myself in a new way, have insightful and powerful conversations and give back to those around me. Since I was little, I had a passion for connecting with and helping others, and throughout high school and college, that was the one passion that stayed constant, even when everything else was upside down. With the birth of The Let’s Get Candid Podcast, I found the piece of me I had been missing. A space I can call my own where I can make an impact and inspire people. My social media became a place I was able to share my stories and experiences and thoughts and connect with others feeling the same way I was, I met some of the most beautiful friendships I have in my life.
23 may have been the hardest year but it was the year I came out of my cocoon, 24 is my golden birthday, my true butterfly year.
I thought that 23 would be that year for me, like I said in last year’s birthday post, but I truly think 24 is that year. 23 still had a few big realizations in store for me. I know I will always keep evolving and healing and working through things, and I hope that never stops, but I know now that I am strongest when I am self-aware and self-actualized and have made the choice to show up for myself. 24 is that year.
As the true fire sign, I am (Aries rising too! With a Libra moon), there’s a fire igniting in me that is telling me this year will be the best year yet, and well I freaking hope so! It’s my graduation year, it’s the year my adult life really begins. It’s the year I return to Miami, in love with my beautiful city, excited to see all the possibilities that are in store for me – I have some really cool opportunities in my periphery that I cannot wait to explore and see where they lead me.
23 I am very happy to be saying goodbye to you today and turning a new page. 24, I think this chapter is the start of a new book in the story of my life. I’m really excited to let go of the past, let go of the exceptions I had for myself at this point in my life and embrace the unknown.
24 I cannot wait to see wait to see what’s next, there’s never a dull moment around here and I know it’s gonna be a good one!
HAPPY GOLDEN BIRTHDAY TO ME!
xo Kayla