We keep hearing about why we shouldn’t settle in pretty much every relationship podcast or on Tik Tok but I actually think this advice applies in more than just relationships. In friendships, in our career, in life in general, we should never settle because its basically saying we know we deserve more but we’re just gonna accept what’s right in front of us because its easier.
If you’ve been listening to my podcast, The Let’s Get Candid Podcast lately you know that I am a big proponent of following your gut, finding your passions and pursuing what sets your soul on fire.
Wouldn’t you be dong yourself a disservice if you didn’t listen to your gut and stayed in a job you don’t love just because it’s a steady paycheck but then you look back in 5 years and realize you missed out on a lot of opportunities to try something new or you’re not happy in your life and are itching for a change but now you have a mortgage and a kid and don’t feel as flexible?
Yeah it’s a scary thought for me too. So if you’re in a major you really don’t love and can’t find a way to make a career out of it or any of your hobbies that you do love, maybe its time to pivot and take a risk.
Society in general is pretty risk averse but as we see the growth of the creator economy and the boom in small businesses and entrepreneurs, I think the tide is shifting. There has never been a better time to try out the Etsy store you’ve been dreaming of or start creating content online if that’s something you really want to do.
Just start!
If you really love it, you’ll know because through the ups and downs, good and bad days and all the sleepless nights, your passion for what you’re building is going to get you through.
And if you realize in 6-8 months, hey actually I don’t really want to pursue this or I don’t like this as much as I thought, you’ll know that too because you’re not as excited about working on it anymore or you realized you’d rather work a corporate job than be on your own. That’s ok too! Its not the right path for everyone but you’ll never know unless you try right? And the best part is you still have all that experience and/or the degree to help you find a job that is more in alignment with the vision you have for yourself and your life. And when you start showing up as that version of yourself, you’ll begin to see the incredible opportunities in other aspects of your life come too.
I’m not saying quit your corporate gig and jump headfirst into being an entrepreneur though, I mean start today as a side hustle, a hobby and see how much energy, time and effort you’re really willing to give to it. As the months and years go on, your gut will tell you which avenue is best for you.
I’ll be honest with you, it won’t be easy, its gonna be exhausting learning to manage it all and still having time for yourself because mental health comes first. But little by little, if you are meant to pursue a non traditional career path, you’ll feel fulfilled and at peace and one day you won’t be faking that confidence to do it anymore, it’ll be what you are most looking forward to doing. And the admin side will be worth it then too!
And you’ll never have that fear of settling because everyday something will happen that reminds you why you started. It can be as simple as a review or a comment or a DM that keeps you going on that dark day and you’ll remember why you took that risk and look at how much its rewarded you with.
The same goes for relationships and friendships. If you’re not happy in a friendship or relationship, set boundaries. Be clear and stick to them. If you’ve done that and a few months later you’re still not happy, being treated the way you want to be and you just can’t be in it anymore because its hurting you. Leave.
Often we ask how do we change a partner or friend. How do we get them to be the person we want them to be. Quick answer, we don’t. Leaving because we choose ourselves is the better option. The scarier option too don’t get me wrong, but the more rewarding one.
This goes for both relationships and friendships. I’d even argue (bc that’s what I do lol) that its more important in friendships. These are the people you should feel safe and comfortable going to with anything, that you want to celebrate the wins and cry at the not so great moments with. If you ever feel that you can’t be yourself with a friend or you find yourself hiding things or worse talking negatively about them to others, its time to reevaluate that relationship.
I actually did an episode recently on friendships with my childhood BFF so go listen here if you want more on friendships.
Because if we stay in it too long, we’ll begin to resent them and it only ends up hurt both people. Its scary to initiate those conversations, been there done that, but a few months later, after having taken the time off from them, you may realize that you do actually want them in your life and work on rebuilding the friendship in a stronger, more healthy way with clear boundaries. And if you realize you don’t, again that’s ok too, just be honest with them about why and that you wish them the best.
And always keep in mind, everyone who comes into our lives, has the opportunity to shape who we are, what we believe about ourselves and the world around us and they can be instrumental in our growth. If we settle, in a career or a relationship, we are holding ourselves back from our own potential and that would be a shame because there is so much each of us have the power to accomplish that we owe it to ourselves to be unapologetically who we are.
It may take a minute but after a lot of reflecting, some therapy and some time, we’ll realize that when we put ourselves first and are open to the opportunities that await us when we are living in alignment with who we are, what we want and what we deserve, a whole new life is possible and we’ll be so grateful we didn’t settle for that boyfriend who didn’t love your quirkiness or the friend who you always felt you couldn’t tell how you really felt about something.
And as for in your career, 90% of people don’t make their living by doing the job their degree expected them to do and a lot of jobs in 2022 didn’t even exist 10 years ago, so who’s to say you wont find what fulfills you in 10 years, you just have to be willing to take that risk so its ok to pick up skills and lessons along the way but don’t be afraid to try new things.
If we learned anything in 2020 it was that, everything can change at the blink of an eye and if we’re not receptive to it, we might miss the blessings those shakeups can bring our way.
So never settle for less than you feel you deserve in any aspect of your life because when we do, we’re holding ourselves back from being who we are truly meant to be, surrounded by the people who uplift, inspire and support us and working to live instead of living to work. Just take that risk because you have no idea what the reward will be and that’s really exciting!