I’ve been really in my head lately and I wanna share a little about what’s going on because I’ve always done that and I know I’m not alone in this:
(Modified and expanded from my IG Reel dated June 29, 2023)
I feel like I’m in a never ending series of realizations, growth and healing. It’s both a beautiful thing and also very scary.
But here’s your weekly gentle reminder (follow me on IG and/or Tik Tok for these) that it’s ok to be scared, it means your care about something. Be bold, ask the hard questions, don’t be afraid to pivot when you need to.
Even just acknowledge that you might need to. That’s where I am right now. It’s not a failure. We need to rework our collective definition of failure. Because in reality, the true failure is not being honest with yourself.
Failure would be staying in the same spot you’re in right now, knowing you’re unhappy. Knowing you can do something but staying still anyway.
Why? Because of perception? Because of what people will think? It’s reductive to say who cares what they think because of course we care. And it’s ok to care. But why are you letting fear hold you back? Don’t play small because you stay small. And it’s better to try and have to pivot than not try at all.
And yes it’s freaking terrifying to try and realize you have to pause and take inventory and reflect and maybe try something else. But it’s also really great. I feel like for the first time in a while I have options that I had closed myself off from for self preservation. And that’s no way to live. I’ve been saying for a while I have a feeling. A few feelings actually and I’m not sure what’s next for me but for the first time in a while, I’m not going to let fear hold me back from leaning into them and seeing where those feelings and options lead.
So like I’ve been telling myself and I’ve said before, do it anyway. Do it scared. Face the fear and make a small affirmative step in the direction you want to go. Most of us have a list of things we want to do or see or accomplish. So get micro. Here are some ideas/how I would approach it:
Make each item a checklist. You don’t have to do it all at once. Start with one item you want to do or accomplish. How are you going to do it? Make a list. Now start working through it.
It can be reaching out to someone for help, whatever kind of help you need. It can be as simple but powerful as acknowledging you need help. Or that something you’ve been doing isn’t working and brainstorming a way to pivot. And yeah I know this is the hardest part and I’m not perfect at it but 1% better every day is still progress.
And once you’ve accomplished that one task, you’re energized to do another. And another and one more. Now you’re working through that fear. Now you’re living your life on your own terms.
Now you’re not just going through the motions and hoping it works out because you have the vision board and the quotes and someone else’s plans. You have your own. Use these tools as a guide but make your own version of them.
I’m not perfect and this isn’t a proven system. This is my plan to reach my goals and create the life that will make me happy and fulfilled. I’m sharing it with you one for accountability and two to give you an additional tool to help you on your path. Whatever that looks like for you.
But it’s time to stop living in fear. It’s time to start working through the fear. It’s time to do the things you know you want to and are capable of. And to stop standing in your own way. It’s time for me too.
Because fear is no match for the courage we have inside of us to have these dreams and goals in the first place. So we owe it to ourselves to do it. Even if we’re scared. To be happy and feel good. To live life on our own terms. So let’s do it together and hold each other accountable in doing this small steps everyday for ourselves.
Theres a big shakeup coming for me and while I’m scared and there’s a lot of unknowns I’m also looking forward to it because no matter what, everything that happens is an opportunity. To learn, to grow, to heal, to make mistakes and to try again.
And although sometimes I feel like that’s all I do, I’m really proud of that. Because it’s made me who I am. And although I’m still learning to love myself and still figuring out who I want to be and what I want my life to look and feel like, that’s a really good place to be. Because it can change, and so can I.
And that’s really powerful. And beautiful. And yeah it’s scary, but it’s more rewarding when you can look back and see all the work and progress it took to say, I didn’t settle for life, I didn’t let life pass me by, I created this life.
I woke up today and needed this pep talk myself so I went out and had it with my friends and mentors. Maybe this will be me having it with you. If so, I really do admire you and your courage and I hope you go for something you really want today!
Check in with me too and let me know how it goes, you know I will!
xo Kayla